Well hey girl, you're late
And those planes, they just don't wait
But if you ever come back around
To this sleepy old town
Promise me you'll stop in
To see an old friend
And until then...

---

Well, I finally felt the sadness that its said that all mothers feel when their kids go to school. She didn't want me to walk in with her this morning; she wanted to do it by herself.

Also, she wants to ride the school bus, because "being a car rider is sooo boring." That's not going to happen, but sometimes I think she's 13. She shouldn't be in kindergarten, and at the same time it seems like she should be graduating next year. Its amazing how time can both fly and not move at all, all at the same time.

I've been in one of those moods of mine lately, but I think I snapped out of it around 1130. Its 1 o'clock right now, but that's ok. My house is sparkly clean. Sleep? Who needs sleep when your floors have been vacuumed, the toilets scrubbed, and the mirrors polished. Dear Neteru, save me now.


Brian's and my filming project is about to take off pretty soon. We've got to do just a little bit more planning this weekend, and then get everything finalized with the people. Hopefully it'll be most awesome.

I've got word on FINALLY starting college. Hopefully it'll pull through this time instead of dicking me around like what has happened the past 3/4 years. Yuck. I've an appointment on the 19th to find out about some stuff, so hopefully it'll come through. I hope, anyway.

Where I'm at: Home How I feel: working What I'm listening to: Extreme - More Than Words

The locusts are singing
The sun is red
Its gotten so late somehow
There's gonna be trouble
You know what they said

---

Morgan's first day of school was Wednesday. She had a great time. After dropping her off (Larry said he felt like he was abandoning her, lol) when went to the Pig and had breakfast. It was very good. I hadn't had pancakes in a while.

She goes back tomorrow, and I've got to go to Mayfield. Hopefully Jamie will be going with me. :) I was told about a program that where the state will pay for me to go to college. Hopefully it will pull through. I mean, come on now. I've been dicked around for THREE UFCKING YEARS! There's always something that at the last minute won't let me start classes and it disenheartens me so badly that I can't stand it. Maybe this time. Hopefully.

I've been so tired lately that its not funny. This period has really drained me so badly its not funny. At least today is my last day and I'll have a week where everything will be ok.

How I feel: lethargic What I'm listening to: Meatloaf - No Matter What (Home By Now)

'Cause I'm fucking fired! Hell yeah!

There's a little bit more back story to this one, though I won't get into it here. Let's just say that MVP Pouring in Mayfield, KY is the stupidest fucking place that I've ever worked at, and I've worked at CBK. In 10 months, I've seen 23 supervisors, 3 foreman, and I lost count at 118 (four months ago) employees come and go. I'm most definitely going to right my little editorial column for the newspaper.

As for the wrecked car.... bleh. I don't want to get into it right now.

On the other hand, there's a massive sale at CBK tomorrow, and the tables I want are going to be on sale! w00t!

How I feel: bouncy What I'm listening to: DJ Sammy & Yanou - Heaven

Stan says:
i want a christina doll
Stan says:
to scare my neighbors with
Stan says:
and to cuddle before sleep claims my soul each night

How I feel: amused

Wow. Its been a long time since I've updated. I can understand, though. It seems I never want to post anything unless I'm feeling sad, and I'm feeling sad right now. Bleh. I know part of it is my bipolar-ness coming out, but part of it is genuine. Yuck yuck yuck.

I think I would love to keep a record of all the stupid (and by stupid I mean absolutely fucking dumb ass) things that the management at work does. I may have to do that. I bet it would very interesting. As long as I remember to use all the words, of course.

An interesting thing did happen to me today. As I was passing out candy (hehe, not technically in the job description, but I like candy, lol) Kennon asked me why I was smiling. To tell the truth, I wasn't aware that I was (shitty day and all). He then proceeded to announce to everyone at the table (about 15 people) that it was because I was cute.

Oh come on now, what gives? I looked like shit, and I wasn't even wearing make up. Hell, I actually don't think I brushed my hair on the hectic race to work. First Fernando, then Jose and his 'I have wet dreams', and then Phillip with his "I think you look pretty good", then Lawrence, and then Mark, and now Kennon. What the hell? Are they seeing something that I'm not? I mean come on now, I'm by no means cute. Hell, I'm actually pretty scary, IMO.

I may have to ponder this for a while. On the other hand, it does mean I have options...

I also learned today that Lisa (a team leader on days) is scared of me. She blushed and said that "I didn't scream for you because I didn't want to make you mad." Ah, my legendary temper.

How I feel: melancholy What I'm listening to: System Of A Down - 05 Cigaro

Have you ever read something that was superbly mundane, but still changed your perception of life? More thoughts on this later, I suppose.

I just went through and read some of my previews entries (oh ok, so I read the first 5, but neh). I have a tendency to leave out words, it seems. Oh well. *laughs*

My birthday went over really well, lol, and I feel a LOT older than I am. I'm still putting in pretty good hours at work, unfortunately. However, PC hinted that I might be EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH next month. I don't know if I should roll my eyes or not. I really like PC, but the EotM is a joke, or at least it comes off as it.

I brought home 4 candles this week. I was also the 2nd person to leave friday night, beating out the foreman because I had to check that she locked the door, lol.

Saturday they had an easter egg hunt up there and so we took Morgan. She had a great time and she won quite a bit of stuff.

Larry also told me that he felt that we were growing closer.

How I feel: sore What I'm listening to: Bon Jovi - Prayer '94

Tonight we had almost blizzard conditions outside. That was definitely the most frightening trip home I've ever made. I couldn't see more than a few inches in front of the car, and there was no way I could have pulled over. I seriously thought at one point that I wasn't going to make it home. Fortunately I didn, and it only took me a little over 2 hours to make a 23 mile drive. Man, the roads are bad, and the snow is /deep/.

I'm glad its warm inside, though, lol. We're off until Monday (and then we only work 3 days), and I need it. The house needs sooo much work. /Someone/ doesn't bother to do a damn thing around here, including watch Morgan.

*shakes head*

How I feel: cold What I'm listening to: Brad Paisley - Whiskey Lullabye

Man, I've stayed so tired lately. Making candles really seems to take a lot out of ya, lol. On the plus side, I've only got to work 'til Wednesday this week.

We're having a party in the break room Wed. night at lunch, because we weren't invited by the others to join in their festivities, lol. Like any of us really care. I found it kind of amusing for some reason. They run around and make a big deal about talking about it really loudly in front of us. In English, to boot. I love when they try hard.

Saturday was the XMas party, so we went back up to Mayfield for it. Before then we went to Union City, to do a little more XMas shopping. Damn, I'll be glad when this holiday season is over. Damn it, I'm a proud pagan, why should I have to bother with this holiday?

Eh, it brings others joy, and I see it as a secular holiday, anyway. Plus I like getting stuff. I just don't like the hassle that comes with buying other people things that they want. Because, damn, I have some picky, snotty family members.

Anyways, Morgan lost my last pair of contacts the other day and when I went to the little optometrist store at WalMart, I found that my prescription had expire, oh, a week ago. So now I don't have any contacts and won't be able to get any for a while, because I had a back tire go flat the other night coming home from work and I'll either have to have it patched (which won't be but 5 dollars) or have to buy one new completely, so I won't be able to afford an eye exam until after XMas. Joys. But at least it could be worse. And maybe I'll get lucky and I won't have to buy a new tire (though I will most likely just buy a used one, because I need a new set within the next few months anyway). Oh, and to add injury to insult, Larry ran us out of gas a mile from town Saturday night and all 3 of us had to stand out in the cold (around 30) for about an hour. Yuck.

I did find a LOT of great deals at the mall, though. I bought a skirt, a dress, and a very cute shirt for less than the price Larry payed for his brother's present: a CD. I love half price sale items!


I also bought a new motherboard/processor (damned good), and a really kick ass case. It has color changing LEDs in the front and bubble tubes on the sides, lol.

How I feel: tired What I'm listening to: Rammstein - Keine Lust

I made a flash intro today. http://www.carbonblack.tk I also managed to get the new layout to Kirari*Dream up today. Its not much, but its something. I'm proud of it, at least. Past that, its been a long boring day. Morgan woke up when Larry did because he reset the alarm THREE times. At 5 in the morning, thats a lot. We definitely didn't go back to sleep after that, lol.



I'm also getting a gmail account. I don't know why, but I've been curious about that for the last week or so.

Decor Direct is having a huge sale, so Kena and I are going in the morning. Man I bet thats going to be fun. Mama said there were so many people there yesterday that they couldn't even get in. At least we're getting there when it opens.

How I feel: sleepy

I hate ants. I really fucking hate them.

Did you know that Febreeze won't kill the gimongous ones that I have in my kitchen? Nope, it sure won't. The little bastard just had the insolence to stand there and stare at me, twitching his fucking little pinchers as I made him smell refreshingly clean. Even the much touted Greased Lightening wouldn't take that sucker out. Oh no, that little nickel sized fuck got the honor of being knocked into the floor and being stomped. For once, I actually enjoyed the crunching sounds. Little bastard.

I hate ants.

Last night I opened my dishwasher to find the joy of seeing 10 big ants (not the ginormous ones like the ones above, but the really big ones), climbing all over the inside of my paritally loaded dishwasher. An ant torture opportunity was nigh, I sensed.

It took all day to fully fill up the dishwasher, but I did. And when I moved it, they decided to run out the back of it. They even ran out the spigot hose. So, as I watched in horror as 20 ants or so mounted an attack on the top of my dishwasher, my instincts came too and grabbed the nearest sprayable thing at hand: a bottle of Greased Lightening. Well, not only does that stuff totally kick 409's ass, it kills the small to medium sized ants in 1 squirt. So I chased the little fucks all around my dishwasher, the floor and the cabinet. Man, it hasn't shined that well in days. ^_^ Eventually I sense a lull, and sat the cleaner down. There were a couple in the sink, so they got a scalding hot trip down the drain.

Thats when the big ones started coming out. Reacting quickly, I grabbed the nearest spray bottle. Oops, its Febreeze. It doesn't work against the big ones. After 5 minutes, I give up, and start squishing, yipping everytime. I hate ants. I have even worse to touch them, even in 5 inch soled boots.

I eventually found the ant killer, but by then there were only two, so they got nice any spray baths.

I hate ants.

What I'm listening to: Shinedown - 45

I am absolutely furious as I write this. I never thought my respect for the Bush party could drop further than it is. I was obviously wrong in this aspect.

Earlier today, my earlier elderly mother (who for the record is NOT registered to vote) received a survey from National Reublican Senatorial Committee. She thought this was odd, because as I said, she's not registered to vote. My father is registered, but as a Democrat.

At the main page of the survey, it states:
"Notice: This SURVEY DOCUMENT IS REGISTERED IN YOUR NAME and -must be accounted for upon completion of this project-. If you choose notto participate in the crucial Republican Majority Leader's Survey, return this Survey Document at once using the postage paid envelope provided."

On several places of the survey it proclaims in large letters "Official Republican Party Document - Do Not Destroy". The majority of the survey appears to be (at least to us) anti-Democratic propaganda while the rest are questions regarding Bush's preformance in the office. There are several mentions of donations (ranging from $20 -$50) through out the entire survey, and two page cover letter). There are also several mentions of using the information to support "George W. Bush's Grassroots Campaign."

Most of this wouldn't raise an eyebrow. I figure that its standard political campaigning for the two major parties. However, the ending turned my stomach and has severly frightened my parents.

The last page of the survey is made up of a section for credit card information, comments, and a nice lovely statement saying the "No. I do not wish to participate in the Survey, nor do I wish to make a donation to help the Republican Party. However, I am returning my Survey Document, along with a contribution of $11 to help cover the cost of tabulating and redistributing my Survey.

Even with filling in the survey, there is no option to not to donate. The way it is written sounds like you have to send them money whether you want to or not. This makes me soo angry.

How dare they attempt to coerce and FRIGHTEN people(and the paranoid person in me bets that most of these were sent to elderly people) into donating to their party. If this isn't illegial, then it really sounds like its close. My mother was (and still is) scared that they were going to come after her because she doesn't want to dontate to them.

I don't know if this information is useful to you guys, and most likely you already know about it. This, however, is my first true experience with matters like this, and I am absolutely outraged. I have no problems scanning off both the cover letter and the survey itself and sending them in, if desired. I just hate to see these people get away with what I perceive as a rouse to force donations from private citizens.

How I feel: enraged

Hmm.. man Larry made me mad today. He absolutely refused to tell me that he had a show tonight. Like I didn't know, but you know what? It'd be nice if HE'D tell me. Not Sammy, not Andy, not his buggering website (which he suggested that I read). And to top it all of, he had the nerve to get mad at ME. That didn't go over very well. He stormed out of the house and I decided to haul my arse up and get dressed. And get dressed I did. Damn I looked cute, lol. I love my little 60s dress.

Anways, he applogized when he got back, and added that he had shows next weekend, too. Yay.

But, HE GOT CALLED BACK TO GOODYEAR!!!!!! HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!

That made me so happy. Its finally over. We'll have money again. Yay!

I went to the movies tonight and saw The Whole 10 Yards. I liked it. At one point I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. I also got Taco Bell afterwards. Yum.

I may get to spend next weekend in Jackson. That may be interesting, if I even get to go, lol. I think it would be fun.

How I feel: tired

Hmm, well its been a long time since I've been able to update this. Ah, the fun.

Today's been a right ok day. I haven't done much, but still, thats ok. Its been relaxing and quite peaceful. Morgan was a little rotten, but not too bad. She feel asleep pretty early, too. Yay! Me time that doesn't happen at 2 in the morning.

Man Alyssa made me mad today, though. I messaged her to invite Lexy to Morgan's birthday party. She asks 'what time' cause she had to pick up Andy from work. I tell her and she says that "We can't expect them to skip work for this" Like, what the hell? What did I say to deserve such a snarky reply. Oh well. I've stood up for her in the past, but fuck her.

Past that bit of trouble, everything else was nice. At 8, me and Jamie went to Momma's to tan. For some reason, the bottom bulbs wouldn't come on (its been doing this for a couple of days), so we fought with the plexiglass to go it off, and took out most of the bulbs to see if that would help. Nope.

So we call Pam. She tells us to take out the bulbs, and the little fuse things. Well, we've tried that already. She can't think of anything else. A few momments later she calls back, saying that the plug from the bottom might be bad and for us to check that. So we do. And guess what? Its unplugged. Oh boy. Taking that stupid plastic off is a LOT of work. We weren't very happy in the annoyed-amused sort of way. So we plug it and, wala! The bottom works. I'm a little red, but hey, it could be worse.

I am so sleepy right now.

I think I'm going to give this a new layout. Yay!

Surprisingly enough, I'm excited about this weekend.

This weekend is not only Julian's birthday party (damn its a shame when a toddler's birthday celebration is the ONLY thing you've to look forward to), but Carbon Black is playing a show in Paducah. I still haven't decided if I'm going to go or not.

John "I'm a fat fucking crook and I need to have the fuck beat out of me' Bunch has not sent me my W2 yet. He gets the irs turned on him soon. Larry doesn't want me to, but I'm going to do so anyway. I hate that son of a bitch, so I'm going after him.

My leg isn't getting any better, but I don't want to go back to the doctors office. It itches so badly right now I can't stand it. It hurts pretty badly, too. Also, earlier I sighed and it felt like it was going to explode. I could feel the sigh all the way down my leg, like the skin puffed out from inside or something. Weird, huh?

Morgan dumped my candle blessing oil out all over the bathroom counter. I have to figure out how to suck it up (no sucky thing is handy :S) and get it back in the bottle as its the only bottle I have.

Larry ended up having to pay in 365$ to Kentucky in taxes because THEY fucked up. Like its worth $5 to live here. *snorts*

How I feel: calm What I'm listening to: Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark

Ok, so I've been lazy and haven't updated in a while. Not like anyone really gives a damn, eh? lol

This week has went by so quickly. Larry's off this Friday and I'm going to try to get him to go with me to see The Butterfly Effect. Lillie, the kids, and I are all going bowling Friday. Yeah. Sounds like fun. Real fun.

What did I get myself into?

My leg is really hurting tonight. :S

How I feel: sore

Had fun tonight. I actually got to go out and do something for once. We didn't do much, but I did get to go to the dollar tree. hehe

Christmas went over rather well. Amongst other things, I got a personal cd player, a $50 gift certificate to Lane Bryant, clothes, dishes, some really pretty rose candles that smell really really bad (but they're gorgeous, so thats ok), books, and a lot of sewing related stuff from Kena. No bathstuff this year :(

Thats ok. Walmart has stuff on sale. ^_^

Morgan had a wonderful time. She got lots of toys, including a bouncy horse, which is bigger than she is. But she absolutely loves 'horsey'. She also got a vcr, some movies, and quite a few items of clothing.

One of Larry's coworkers (one that he has spoken to less than a handful of times, non the less) overheard him saying that we were struggling this time of the year with the layoff. Apparantely we are worse off than he has been letting on (and now I feel uber guilty about buying that purse, which btw is uber cute). I knew we were doing bad, but making it with a bit to spare. Apparently we won't be making it this month. He has a 3 week layoff this month. Lovely.

On a lighter note, I was rearranging the shed yesterday so I could put the XMas decorations back and found some dirty magazines (from 99) in a box. One was a Penthouse Letters (which was actually pretty cool), and the other was a Hustler. Not just a Hustler, but a Hustler with 'watersports' featured prominetly on the cover. By the time I made it into the house I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand up. I ended up peeking in the door of the bedroom, and then shutting it quickly and falling onto the floor. Larry isn't exactly a watersports kind of guy.

I finally make it in there and throw the magazine (still laughing) at him and screech 'You bought the pee issue!?'
I then fall over again, while informing him that sorry, but I just couldn't bring myself to pee on him. He thought that was funny and related to me the amusing story of how he got them.

I still giggle when I see them.

How I feel: amused

I forgot to add, I finally got to play LOK: Defiance. It fucking rocked. I can't wait for the next one.

And RotK comes out wednesday. Woo hoo.

I for some reason want to start a community. lol

How I feel: sleepy