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Me vrs the Ants  
11:06pm 27/04/2004
Bastards, Inc.
I hate ants. I really fucking hate them.

Did you know that Febreeze won't kill the gimongous ones that I have in my kitchen? Nope, it sure won't. The little bastard just had the insolence to stand there and stare at me, twitching his fucking little pinchers as I made him smell refreshingly clean. Even the much touted Greased Lightening wouldn't take that sucker out. Oh no, that little nickel sized fuck got the honor of being knocked into the floor and being stomped. For once, I actually enjoyed the crunching sounds. Little bastard.

I hate ants.

Last night I opened my dishwasher to find the joy of seeing 10 big ants (not the ginormous ones like the ones above, but the really big ones), climbing all over the inside of my paritally loaded dishwasher. An ant torture opportunity was nigh, I sensed.

It took all day to fully fill up the dishwasher, but I did. And when I moved it, they decided to run out the back of it. They even ran out the spigot hose. So, as I watched in horror as 20 ants or so mounted an attack on the top of my dishwasher, my instincts came too and grabbed the nearest sprayable thing at hand: a bottle of Greased Lightening. Well, not only does that stuff totally kick 409's ass, it kills the small to medium sized ants in 1 squirt. So I chased the little fucks all around my dishwasher, the floor and the cabinet. Man, it hasn't shined that well in days. ^_^ Eventually I sense a lull, and sat the cleaner down. There were a couple in the sink, so they got a scalding hot trip down the drain.

Thats when the big ones started coming out. Reacting quickly, I grabbed the nearest spray bottle. Oops, its Febreeze. It doesn't work against the big ones. After 5 minutes, I give up, and start squishing, yipping everytime. I hate ants. I have even worse to touch them, even in 5 inch soled boots.

I eventually found the ant killer, but by then there were only two, so they got nice any spray baths.

I hate ants.
What I'm listening to: Shinedown - 45
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All hail the Raging Queen of Wenis!

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